Oh my god, you guys, Oh my god!

You will never, never guess what we happened upon on our drive to Parts North, and so I will tell you.

In Deep River, my dears, at perhaps the most frequented Tim Horton's in all the world, there is now a COLD STONE CREAMERY counter.

No word of a lie. Apparently, it's part of a test market. I promise you that it's almost worth the drive to Deep River alone.

Don't let this be a Krispy Kreme y'all. Seriously. Please help encourage them to stay.

You'll be glad you did!

Wait for it....

This morning, as I drove through the Glebe, a lady in front of me, tired of waiting for a clearing in traffic to make a left hand turn (which, by the way, was approaching in like, 5 cars), simply drove directly through the oncoming cars. Which, upon seeing her rapid advance, slowed to allow her to pass.

I was amazed at her audacity. And, as it happened, we ended up next to each other at a stoplight. She was an older lady - in her 50s, I'd guess, but well kept.

As we waited for the light to turn, she loosened her hair from its pinning, and shook it out; it splayed out rather erratically, but I think she liked what she saw as she admired herself in her rearview mirror, because she pursed her mouth and blew herself a kiss.

And there she was. Right next to me.

Snaggle haired and crazy faced.

Peeves - a cautionary tale

I have a peeve that makes me crazy. Makes me just about lose rational thought.

It's when I come back to my car in a parking lot and find that the person who parked in the spot next to me after I've left my car has left me a foot of clearance between my car and their unfailing SUV or minivan.

I've been known to leave nasty, sarcastic notes thanking the driver for their thoughtfulness. It's not big of me, I know. But it's better than keying their car, which I have also considered as I try to contort my body and that of MasterP to fit us into our respective seats.

But I have a new example of what not to do: yesterday, I saw someone take the lower road. Clearly, rational thought had been lost in the face of their greatest peeve.

A car was signalling a right turn from a stoplight, and, as the driver didn't accelerate in a speedy manner, the car in front of me took the opportunity to zip left in front of it. The right turning car was required to brake to avoid collision.

What happened next was nothing short of, well, mortifying for the wife who was trapped in the car with her beloved. Her beloved honked at the car in front of him. And continued to honk, never removing his hand from the horn as he tailgated the offender for 5 or 6 blocks until the offender turned off the road we were all on. Every driver stared. People walking on the sidewalk stopped to watch. Not be outdone, the offender beeped his horn and waved at her beloved as they drove away.

The last we saw of the beloved as he drove away was his middle finger, waving out the window. An over-reaction? Maybe. I mean, probably, yes. But just how long had this been building up?

What a day.

Last night, MasterP did not wake for milk. Instead, I woke at 3:30, and couldn't get back to sleep. (n.b. - I do think that this is terribly, terribly unfair.) I had had this amazing but concerning dream - this doula/babysitter had come to see us, and announced that she only had a two week period to get MasterP sleeping through the night, which apparently was being done by feeding me huge amounts of fabulous hippy food. Starting with a big, big bowl of seaweed salad.

Yum. (no seriously, it was just like the one you get at sushi restaurants. mmmmmmmm)

But seaweed? THAT'S what my subconscious would like me to be eating?

Well, ok, I guess, if it'll help MasterP sleep, I'm in!!

In other news? I really do have the gravitational pull of a black hole. Just ask the second person in as many months to drive into me. I was actually driving this time, on a road as opposed to a parking lot, in my rental car, as my car is currently still in the shop from where the first person drove into me. Again, gentle readers, do not fear. I am fine, and MasterP (as last time) did not even wake up.

But seriously. What is the universe trying to teach me here?

Things I wish I could have said....

1. To my knit-suit-wearing, undergarmently challenged colleague:

My dear, I certainly do believe that the reason you wore your maternity pants throughout your entire maternity leave was due to your healing c-section scar. Really, I do. I mean, what other reason could there have been?

2. To the flamenco dress wearing lady on Bank street:

Madame, why so angry? Please look down at the riotous ruffles peeping from below your trench coat. Surely they will cheer you?

3. To the gentleman in the BMW:

Yes, you. First of all, yes, we can all see you chewing with your mouth open like that. Your mother must be so very proud of you. Secondly, the reason I did not proceed as quickly as you would have liked through the left hand turn was that I was simultaneously trying to steer and stop my three year old from throwing her brother's toys out the window. I can only assume that what you yelled at me through our mutually closed car windows as you sped by and cut me off after honking at me was a lovely pleasantry regarding the nature of Ottawa weather. RIGHT???

Just so you know? I'm not so sure that your car makes up for you in the laws of attraction.