Feh and his cheesecake: Happily ever after

I've been reading those vampire books.

You know the ones - THOSE ones.

I kinda get it; they're entertaining, but something I read before I read the books changed my opinion forever, and altered how I would view them. It was one of those alternative comics, where the protagonist had been to see the movie and likened it to a guy seeing his all-time favourite flavour of cheesecake and then declaring his everlasting love and adoration for said cheesecake. "I must have you with me for always, cherry cheesecake." snort.

While I'm on the subject, there's a few things I'd like to raise. Forgive me, dear readers, but it's been a really long time since my last book club meeting, and I really need to get this off my chest. Mostly about the second book, because that's how far I've gotten in the series. I'm pretty sure that more comments will come, because you know that even more than I hates the bad writing, I hates the unended story. (Unless you're so bad/long/unsympathetic that I don't care, and you know who you are.)

1) The quality, she ain't great. One would suppose that a female writer would know a bit about the teenage fem, having, one assumes, been one, but when one of your girls is wounded by being unsolicitously dumped by her creepy, obsessive boyfriend, no self-respecting teenage girl turns her back. It just doesn't happen. There is nothing that fuels the teenage relationship more than the DRAMA, the DRAMA! and being dumped? Dude. It's at the top of the priority list.

2) A creepy, obsessive boyfriend is just that. After having been with him a short while, it turns out that he's been sneaking into her dad's house (UNINVITED?? They can suddenly do that now?) to watch her sleep. Dude. That's not hot. It's not. He won't let her see her friends, he tells her what to do, and when she's with him, she doesn't speak of fun, just of luuuurve, luuurve. and sparklieness. Ick. Shuuuuder.

3) Sure, he might be pretty, but he's a Ken doll. He's cold, he's blond and handsome, he's got a nice chest, he's shiny, and he's unable to do more than the kissing. Feh.

4) Specific note to editor: Continuity. If you're going to set up the heroine's potential special ability as a vampire (the ability for others' abilities not to work) don't forget that. It's lame. (First family meeting, brother's special ability of influencing emotions makes her all calm 'despite the situation' (check it out, Book 1.) Later, in Italy, none of the fancy vampires can work their magic? (Book 2.) Stupid mistake. Work out the damn story arc before you write the next book. Don't make it up as you go along.)

5) If this is supposed to be a sweeping romance, the relationship with the werewolf is much better written. Aside from our supposed communal oggling of Ken/Feh, she's got stuff in common with the werewolf. He seems to strive to keep promises and stupid stuff like that. Specific note to Bella: Pick the werewolf. a) he seems like he's fun, and dude, seriously - and this goes for everyone - obsession is not sexy, it's not romantic, and it's not good for you. Under any circumstances. b) it would seem that the werewolf is capable of the physical side of love. Just sayin'. Might be a benefit later in life. You know, in your 20s or something. c) see last point about life. So that's a positive as well. (and d) you know I loves the caramel colored.) Finally, and this is just personal preference, but e) my feet are cold enough on their own in bed. I really don't need an alabaster statue sucking body heat all the time. Know what I mean?

Discuss?