A few years ago, I declared that if dinner was required shortly after I returned home from work, there would be nights I would need help. Specifically, I would like someone else to cook for me.
What I got instead was a crock pot. I say crock pot, because it's actually a Rival, the original maker of the slow cooker. It wasn't just any crock pot, it was a smart pot. And it was even slightly programmable, in that I could select the temperature (high or low) for a specified period of time, after which it was to turn to a warm setting.
I had such hopes for her, my tidy little oval wifey cooking me my dinner. So pleased to think of her watching over my tasty stews while I thought about you know, budgets and stuff. Welcoming me home with open arms and the scent of my dinner bubbling happily away.
As it turned out, Husband did not like her cooking. MlleL did not like her cooking. (and secretly, I did not either, but I made all of us eat it anyhow.) Husband complained that it was dry, and tried to talk me out of future dates. I refused to consider that meat that had been stewing all day in its own juices lovingly cared for by wifey could be dry. How could it????
Well, it was, and it has been for the whole time, really.
And tonight? Tonight was the last straw, my dear. I'm tired of you not listening and burning my food. Your lack of communication confuses me. How could it have gone so wrong? You're on your way out. Oh, yes. That's right. After what you did to my pot roast, cooked for only four hours from FROZEN, I went on-line to read about your escapades.
It seems you've been burning everyone's dinner. And not in a cute, 'caution, hot dish' way either. In a horrible, dry, grey, hard to chew, not even homemade gravy makes it that much better fashion.
Dude. I'm getting a divorce. And I'm looking for a mistress.
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2 comments:
A mistress, eh? Might I recommend me? I just made two giant vegetarian recipes this weekend, and they are delicious. (I improved them by adding meat.)
PS: I won't put out.
My crockpot has been good to me...although I can't really say the recipes I've used have been 5 star or anything. Have you thought about doing Supperworks? You still have that big freezer in the basement?
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