Speaking Notes Needed.

On Saturday, we Valentines will be leaving for Mrs. Maiden's house in Points North - roughly a 9-10 hour drive, depending on how the kids do. We're heading up for our customary first week of August at the Maidens', only this time, it will also include Mr. Maiden's memorial.

Which is being held this much later than his actual death because he wanted us to be able to plan ahead and get the cheapest airfare.

Bigbother and Littlesister and Brotherinlaw are coming in as well (from Arizona and Ireland respectively) - so it will be a full house of Maidens. The last time we were all together was at Bigbrother's second wedding when MlleL was 9 months old - the same age MasterP is now.

So that will be good. Sad, but good.

I have to think of what to say - if there is going to be addresses made, I guess I'll have to make one. (true to Mrs. Maiden form, all details have been left to be ironed out once we arrive. The date is what we know so far.)

Here's the thing, though. Mr. Maiden's little sister is driving up from Ohio for the event, and as she has indicated in email to Mrs. Maiden, will stay a few days to 'talk'. I do not know what to say.

When Grandma Maiden died, I was in grade 10, so I must have been about 14. Grandma Maiden made Mr. Maiden's siblings the executors, but left a lot of the detail out of the will. In addition, it seems she had promised the same pieces of furniture and belongings to several different people over the years. Which made for some conflict. Quite a bit of conflict, actually, in the days leading up to the funeral. Agreements were made for us all to return to the house they grew up in one last time after the funeral for final discussions before returning home.

When we returned to the house, again, right. after. the. funeral, the locks had been changed. Now. I'm sure you expect me to say that the funeral was the last time I saw Aunt Maiden, but that is not the case. After heading down to the centre of small town Ohio and retaining his high-school-now-lawyer buddy, Mr. Maiden headed north on the interstate. Which is where, as fate would have it, we overtook Aunt M in her grey minivan with my cousin riding shotgun (her niece from Uncle Maiden). THAT was the last time I saw both of them. Any of them.

So. Miss Maiden actually called Mr. Maiden a few years back, and they were talking and emailing, and they (Uncle and Aunt Maiden) came for a very short visit as well. In fact, when we were in Arizona at the hospital, Uncle Maiden called to say goodbye. So there had been a rapprochement.

So she's coming. Bigbrother must have found some zen in the Navy, cause' he's the guy who sees good in everyone. I'm not sure he's got beef with anyone. I can't remember him talking smack about anyone; ok, I can think of one instance, but when your wife leaves you for your friend, I think smack is the least of what one should be talking.

So he'll be his usual self - which means, he'll be a talking, talking, talking fiend. (seriously. Think I'm a talker? I'm the quietest in the family. By far. Confirmed by Mrs. Maiden this past week.)

Littlesister is pretty much going to follow suit. Don't get me wrong, that girl will talk smack. (But you'll love it). Overall, though, she's not a holder of grudges. I am the grudge holder.

I do not know what to say to the adult in my life who chose stuff over a relationship with me. The grownup part of me acknowledges that 22 years of life lost is enough punishment, but the 14-year-old still wants to do what I wanted to do at the moment we passed that minivan.

That time, Bigbrother and Littlesister sat on my hands so I couldn't flip her off.

This time, I think I'm on my own.